It has been forever since I have been on here. I was really hoping that after the "Injury" entry I would have some bad ass "comeback" entry. Alas, I'm still on the outskirts nursing a bad hip. Really? What am I, 90??? A bad HIP?? Good Lord.
At the same time, however, I overused my injury excuse. There was no need for me to put on those extra pounds making my jeans just a little too tight for my liking and making me not want to wear my cute tank tops and short sleeve shirts. So I couldn't run. I couldn't squat. I couldn't lunge. I couldn't have weight bearing on the joint. Does it suck? Yes. Did I have to let go? Absolutely not.
A bum hip didn't mean I needed to stop planning all my meals. It didn't mean I needed to slack on my clean eating style. It didn't mean I couldn't walk in the pool. It didn't mean comfort myself with having foods more often in which I don't normally indulge. I fell off my wagon and just rolled right down the hill into a ditch.
Today, I decided I wanted to do something, anything. So off I went to Bikram Yoga. It is something I used to find such comfort in doing when living in San Francisco. I love the heat, the stretching, the isometric muscular holds, the calmness in the room. I needed that today. Calm, stretching, solace. Even if I couldn't do all the poses, I knew I would walk away better than when I walked into the studio. And better I am.
As I was laying in Savasana and the instructor was talking, he started orating about injuries and fear and being willing to push past, little by little, the fear of re-injuring ourselves through going into poses a little deeper every time we practice. How we are not victims of our injuries. We need not be afraid. It was my "AH-HA" moment. This injury had become my EXCUSE, my crutch to slack off and just be pissy and behave like a victim instead of pulling up my proverbial bootstraps and focusing on the things I COULD do, not what I couldn't.
No more excuses - do what you can. No more victim mentality of just being sad and feeling helpless or acting like a big fat baby. Even if it is tightening up your eating because you really can't exercise at all, do it. Hand bikes if your leg is hurt, walking if your upper body is injured. Something, Anything.
I certainly could not do everything in my class today but I could do much more than I expected. It whipped me, hard. You know what? I LOVED IT. I was worked, stretched, tired, sweaty and at peace with a new state of mind. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
To my instructor who helped me today - Thank you and Namaste.
