It has been almost a year since I have posted and an extremely tumultuous one at that. Lots of things in my life have gone up, down, sideways and in circles. While some have been for the worse, most have been for the better if not in physical outcome but for my own personal learning growth and knowledge.
I have a lot of goals for the coming months and have been working on my vision board to help remind me every day of my priorities. Granted I don't forget but everyone loses track without reminding. A vision board is a wonderful tool and I'm excited to finish mine in the next few days now that the semester of school is out.
My training has been amazing and my focus is ON. This has been the most fabulous part of the past year, seeing my progress on my body. I love it and it makes every Rep worth it. The five half marathons and one 36 hour relay (Ragnar - LOVE IT) made for amazing experiences and growth. I hope to share them all with you and that you can glean something from what I went through.
While all is not "perfect" as I know it will never be - nor should it - all is great. From what I see it will only get better.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Resolutions?
Since the last week of December I've been in the "re-organization" mode. I know, everyone does resolutions but 9 times out of 10 they are out the window by January 15th. I'm not a big resolution girl but did take the time to really look at 2011 and what I loved/hated about it. With that said, I was ready to start my "Re-Org".
I started with an overall intake, when I was happiest, fittest, saddest, etc. While taking all this in, I noticed that I'm missing something which is so important and I am ALWAYS telling my clients they need. Balance. When I decide to do something, it usually takes all my focus and I just drive forward at 100 mph. The problem here is that other important things fall behind in priority and the quality of other areas of my life suffer a bit.
This isn't to say that occasionally or for one particular goal that more of your focus should be in one place, but an overall balance needs to be achieved first, then it can be tweaked to best fit the upcoming goal. I really didn't want to make a "resolution" where I would just turn and focus on that one resolution. Over the next year - and hopefully much much sooner - I will master the art of Life Balance.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Stripped at Night - Las Vegas RnR 1/2 Marathon
Yes, we decided to do the Rock n' Roll Las Vegas 1/2 Marathon again this year. After such an incredible experience on all levels last year, my husband and I decided it would be our yearly "thing". A healthy getaway so to speak. Last year was fun, he ran a PR (Personal Record) and actually had a good time doing it. Once the decision was made that we would repeat the feat - he had his sites set on December 4, 2011.
We signed up early and asked all our friends to come it had been so great. We talked it up for MONTHS! While we had a few jump in (and most bail at the end) we did have one little superstar join in the festivities with some of her SoCal buddies - Go Carrie!!! A few months after we signed on the dotted line it was announced the race would be at night. My first thought was "How COOL!!!!! Run the strip at NIGHT??? Yes!".
That feeling lasted until about a week before the race. What would I eat? How cold would it really be? Was evening colder than early morning? Who knows this stuff???? I didn't as the only time I ran at night before was during a Ragnar Relay (if you run and don't know what that is, look it up, it's AMAZING!) and that was continuous fueling for two days, no issue. I only had one shot for Vegas. That went for my husband too who had been training SO HARD for this race for months.
When I say training hard, I mean this guy was never a runner until after we met. He started doing it because he could do it with me. I know, so sweet right? He even found a running buddy (Hi Lou!) to train with at work with shorter runs at lunch - aka speed work! Now I curse Lou as much as I like him. He pushes Sean and Sean is constantly coming home with great running stories - did I create a monster? I might need to get this boy his own Garmin if he keeps stealing mine. For everything. Including training runs.
So with all that said and all the prep taken care of minus really knowing how to eat for a night race, we were ready. Sean was more trained than I was (this was to be my 3rd half marathon in 8 weeks with an injury) and far more focused. It really made me feel like an amateur! The week before the race we were adding more carbs slowly into our diets, eating super clean and healthy and watching our water intake. We.Were.Ready.
Arrive in Las Vegas: smooth. Went and spent a night with his Mom and her Boyfriend, gambled and had a good dinner. Saturday we hit the Expo. This is where the entire story takes a turn. Lets take it step by step:
EXPO:
NO SIGNS as to where to go. With the rodeo finals and several Christmas events going on it would have been nice to have some direction.
Crowds WHAT?? We were pretty early on Saturday but yet over half the merchandise was sold out. I've seen numerous complaints that they ran out of T shirts you were supposed to get as an entrant, but I did get mine and in the right size even though they are still hideous. However, they had cute styles of shirts for sale for both sexes but to find our sizes was almost impossible. With 44,000 runners you couldn't stock up?
We did request sizes for the tech shirt that comes with entrance to the race, at least check that people have a race BIB!!! That would be a start. The lady I got my shirt from didn't care if I was running or not.
The space wasn't made for the amount of people there and there were WAY too few check stands. I stood in line for 45 minutes to make a purchase. Elbows were flying and people were not happy but there was a lot of good stuff to see and purchase.
Bonus? I'm a huge Biggest Loser fan for lots of reasons and not a fan for others but I was STOKED to see Dan Evans from Season 5 and his Mom greeting and taking photos with people, LOOKING GREAT!!! I love that they have kept the weight off, I was so excited, might have been the best part of the expo.
RACE:
We shopped that day, wandered around, looked for food that wouldn't make us vomit during the run. We slept in as late as possible, stayed mellow, watched our caffeine and hydration. The shuttles were to run from 2-6 pm. Really? The Marathon starts at 4, the 1/2 at 5:30, why would the shuttle leave at 6? Oh, because they didn't have a clear path to the race.
Sean and I were dressed and ready to rock (no pun intended) by 2:30. We were layered up, beanies on, disposable gloves at hand, a disposable bag with our extra layers because it was supposed to be FORTY DEGREES - ouch. Almost to the shuttle line, um, no Garmin. Crap! Plenty of time, go back, get the Garmin, get in line for the shuttle. Stand and wait. Stand and wait. Stand and wait. Not all the shuttles were running, awesome. No clear path to the race, more awesome. Being an hour late because of mass traffic and no planning/adjustments for the overload of a closed Strip? Most awesome. It also made me most angry.
Frogger. Constant dodging of slower runners and even walkers blocking the street five across sometimes.
This was frustrating to say the least. Not only was it freezing but I was being elbowed, shoved and swore at almost the entire race. I have never been so frustrated in a race. Ever. Then it really hit me - my mental state was getting the best of me. I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to run, I didn't want to be in the crowd but I was trying to push through as this isn't my race, it's Sean's. And as I was getting more and more stuck in my own head and blocked by slow runners and walkers (and bottle necked by crappy course management) I told Sean to just take off.
I knew it was the right thing to do but I was NOT happy about it. I guess it was like a Mama Bird watching her young take flight on his own for the first time. My heart dropped and my mental state crumbled further. I swore off racing with Sean because I was upset he was beating me and eventually swore off racing altogether. Cursing in my own head as I rolled into mile 11 the crowd broke apart and I had some room. Magically my mind opened as well. I noticed how much pain my hip was in and I pulled off to the side to stretch. I let go of my time an knew I would race again in just a few more weeks. There are days when, after you cross the start line, circumstance can alter how and if you reach your goal for that race. I knew a sub 2:00 wasn't happening as I toed the start line and I likely would have had a better race if I had let that number go in the first few miles.
POST RACE:
The medal was dangling from an outstretched hand who didn't even bother to check if I had a bib. I could have taken two if I wanted, there wasn't anyone policing the distribution which let to hundreds of finishers receiving the wrong medal or not receiving a medal at all. My legs were cramping, my hips killing and it was pitch black. I couldn't find water or the Mylar blankets or my husband. People were stumbling and feeling ill. There weren't any volunteers directing us like last year (which was the BEST organized race I have ever run) and I was completely lost and disoriented.
Luckily I found Sean and he did NOT look happy. There wasn't a stretching or cool down area so he felt ill from just having to stop after running hard for 13.5 miles. Yes, 13.5, all the dodging can add up after a while. Of course I started to worry and started trying to find water and food. Although he wanted nothing to do with either, I knew it would be important to get something in the tank ASAP. I grabbed a stale bagel by swooping in between the people walking on top of each other and bypassed the green bananas and Gogurt. What a load. At least they weren't giving us water out of fire hydrants like they were on the course. Now all we needed was the shuttle back to the Encore and we would be set.
Now, I'm known to be obsessive about checking a bag for post race warm, dry clothes. I hate hate hate being sweaty and cold. This race I decided that I wouldn't need a bag of warm clothes because we would hop on the waiting, heated shuttle. WRONG! Sure the shuttles were waiting, but you couldn't get to them. There wasn't a way to cross the course so we were stuck on foot, still, in the freezing cold and wind with our sweaty clothes and measly Mylar blankets. We even picked up another stranded runner on our 1.5-2 mile walk from the finish area to New York New York to finally catch a cab. Unfortunately, we didn't have any money. Ooops.
Talk about the best cabbie ever, he gave us his number and said "Call me tomorrow and pay me then". Can you even believe it?? Talk about hitting the jackpot in Vegas. We finally made it back, showered in a nice HOT HOT HOT shower, and shuffled down to dinner to one of the two restaurants near us that were still open. The after parties were not even a thought in our mind as we were beat. Amen for Stratta - that burger was incredible!
Although the weekend in itself was great, this was the WORST race in which I have ever participated. I'm lucky I carry my own water and gels as they ran out on the course and many who drank the water ended up in the hospital. I'm also lucky that I didn't check a bag as I would have been in the Mandalay Bay Melee which had people passing out and throwing up all over the place. Zero crowd control and an inability of emergency personnel to reach the sick. Apparently the police had to come with the riot control shields to make a path.
I know some folks that had an incredible experience and loved every minute and I heard horror stories all weekend from other runners I met. We fall in the middle and I really hope Rock n' Roll gets it together for next year because I would love to go back and continue to have this be our "thing" every year for a healthy getaway. We will not be talking this one up for months and thinking long and hard before we sign on the dotted line for this race again.
We signed up early and asked all our friends to come it had been so great. We talked it up for MONTHS! While we had a few jump in (and most bail at the end) we did have one little superstar join in the festivities with some of her SoCal buddies - Go Carrie!!! A few months after we signed on the dotted line it was announced the race would be at night. My first thought was "How COOL!!!!! Run the strip at NIGHT??? Yes!".
That feeling lasted until about a week before the race. What would I eat? How cold would it really be? Was evening colder than early morning? Who knows this stuff???? I didn't as the only time I ran at night before was during a Ragnar Relay (if you run and don't know what that is, look it up, it's AMAZING!) and that was continuous fueling for two days, no issue. I only had one shot for Vegas. That went for my husband too who had been training SO HARD for this race for months.
When I say training hard, I mean this guy was never a runner until after we met. He started doing it because he could do it with me. I know, so sweet right? He even found a running buddy (Hi Lou!) to train with at work with shorter runs at lunch - aka speed work! Now I curse Lou as much as I like him. He pushes Sean and Sean is constantly coming home with great running stories - did I create a monster? I might need to get this boy his own Garmin if he keeps stealing mine. For everything. Including training runs.
So with all that said and all the prep taken care of minus really knowing how to eat for a night race, we were ready. Sean was more trained than I was (this was to be my 3rd half marathon in 8 weeks with an injury) and far more focused. It really made me feel like an amateur! The week before the race we were adding more carbs slowly into our diets, eating super clean and healthy and watching our water intake. We.Were.Ready.
Arrive in Las Vegas: smooth. Went and spent a night with his Mom and her Boyfriend, gambled and had a good dinner. Saturday we hit the Expo. This is where the entire story takes a turn. Lets take it step by step:
EXPO:
NO SIGNS as to where to go. With the rodeo finals and several Christmas events going on it would have been nice to have some direction.
Crowds WHAT?? We were pretty early on Saturday but yet over half the merchandise was sold out. I've seen numerous complaints that they ran out of T shirts you were supposed to get as an entrant, but I did get mine and in the right size even though they are still hideous. However, they had cute styles of shirts for sale for both sexes but to find our sizes was almost impossible. With 44,000 runners you couldn't stock up?
We did request sizes for the tech shirt that comes with entrance to the race, at least check that people have a race BIB!!! That would be a start. The lady I got my shirt from didn't care if I was running or not.
The space wasn't made for the amount of people there and there were WAY too few check stands. I stood in line for 45 minutes to make a purchase. Elbows were flying and people were not happy but there was a lot of good stuff to see and purchase.
Bonus? I'm a huge Biggest Loser fan for lots of reasons and not a fan for others but I was STOKED to see Dan Evans from Season 5 and his Mom greeting and taking photos with people, LOOKING GREAT!!! I love that they have kept the weight off, I was so excited, might have been the best part of the expo.
RACE:
We shopped that day, wandered around, looked for food that wouldn't make us vomit during the run. We slept in as late as possible, stayed mellow, watched our caffeine and hydration. The shuttles were to run from 2-6 pm. Really? The Marathon starts at 4, the 1/2 at 5:30, why would the shuttle leave at 6? Oh, because they didn't have a clear path to the race.
Sean and I were dressed and ready to rock (no pun intended) by 2:30. We were layered up, beanies on, disposable gloves at hand, a disposable bag with our extra layers because it was supposed to be FORTY DEGREES - ouch. Almost to the shuttle line, um, no Garmin. Crap! Plenty of time, go back, get the Garmin, get in line for the shuttle. Stand and wait. Stand and wait. Stand and wait. Not all the shuttles were running, awesome. No clear path to the race, more awesome. Being an hour late because of mass traffic and no planning/adjustments for the overload of a closed Strip? Most awesome. It also made me most angry.
Frogger. Constant dodging of slower runners and even walkers blocking the street five across sometimes.
This was frustrating to say the least. Not only was it freezing but I was being elbowed, shoved and swore at almost the entire race. I have never been so frustrated in a race. Ever. Then it really hit me - my mental state was getting the best of me. I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to run, I didn't want to be in the crowd but I was trying to push through as this isn't my race, it's Sean's. And as I was getting more and more stuck in my own head and blocked by slow runners and walkers (and bottle necked by crappy course management) I told Sean to just take off.
I knew it was the right thing to do but I was NOT happy about it. I guess it was like a Mama Bird watching her young take flight on his own for the first time. My heart dropped and my mental state crumbled further. I swore off racing with Sean because I was upset he was beating me and eventually swore off racing altogether. Cursing in my own head as I rolled into mile 11 the crowd broke apart and I had some room. Magically my mind opened as well. I noticed how much pain my hip was in and I pulled off to the side to stretch. I let go of my time an knew I would race again in just a few more weeks. There are days when, after you cross the start line, circumstance can alter how and if you reach your goal for that race. I knew a sub 2:00 wasn't happening as I toed the start line and I likely would have had a better race if I had let that number go in the first few miles.
POST RACE:
The medal was dangling from an outstretched hand who didn't even bother to check if I had a bib. I could have taken two if I wanted, there wasn't anyone policing the distribution which let to hundreds of finishers receiving the wrong medal or not receiving a medal at all. My legs were cramping, my hips killing and it was pitch black. I couldn't find water or the Mylar blankets or my husband. People were stumbling and feeling ill. There weren't any volunteers directing us like last year (which was the BEST organized race I have ever run) and I was completely lost and disoriented.
Luckily I found Sean and he did NOT look happy. There wasn't a stretching or cool down area so he felt ill from just having to stop after running hard for 13.5 miles. Yes, 13.5, all the dodging can add up after a while. Of course I started to worry and started trying to find water and food. Although he wanted nothing to do with either, I knew it would be important to get something in the tank ASAP. I grabbed a stale bagel by swooping in between the people walking on top of each other and bypassed the green bananas and Gogurt. What a load. At least they weren't giving us water out of fire hydrants like they were on the course. Now all we needed was the shuttle back to the Encore and we would be set.
Now, I'm known to be obsessive about checking a bag for post race warm, dry clothes. I hate hate hate being sweaty and cold. This race I decided that I wouldn't need a bag of warm clothes because we would hop on the waiting, heated shuttle. WRONG! Sure the shuttles were waiting, but you couldn't get to them. There wasn't a way to cross the course so we were stuck on foot, still, in the freezing cold and wind with our sweaty clothes and measly Mylar blankets. We even picked up another stranded runner on our 1.5-2 mile walk from the finish area to New York New York to finally catch a cab. Unfortunately, we didn't have any money. Ooops.
Talk about the best cabbie ever, he gave us his number and said "Call me tomorrow and pay me then". Can you even believe it?? Talk about hitting the jackpot in Vegas. We finally made it back, showered in a nice HOT HOT HOT shower, and shuffled down to dinner to one of the two restaurants near us that were still open. The after parties were not even a thought in our mind as we were beat. Amen for Stratta - that burger was incredible!
Although the weekend in itself was great, this was the WORST race in which I have ever participated. I'm lucky I carry my own water and gels as they ran out on the course and many who drank the water ended up in the hospital. I'm also lucky that I didn't check a bag as I would have been in the Mandalay Bay Melee which had people passing out and throwing up all over the place. Zero crowd control and an inability of emergency personnel to reach the sick. Apparently the police had to come with the riot control shields to make a path.
I know some folks that had an incredible experience and loved every minute and I heard horror stories all weekend from other runners I met. We fall in the middle and I really hope Rock n' Roll gets it together for next year because I would love to go back and continue to have this be our "thing" every year for a healthy getaway. We will not be talking this one up for months and thinking long and hard before we sign on the dotted line for this race again.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Slow and Steady
The growing process as we all know takes time. It isn't just about working out and eating right, there is a mental aspect that a lot of people ignore. We all eat and often eat too much, but WHY. Recently the biggest loser showed us how food triggers different responses in fit vs. overweight people. Interesting? Absolutely. Isn't the real issue why we overeat? What is our trigger? Happy, sad, frustrated, bored are common emotions which trigger eating when we aren't hungry or don't need as much as we are shoving in our mouths.
Another large problem is education and information - perhaps a lack thereof. I came across a woman in a consultation the other day who wanted to lose weight. She understood about the exercise and claimed to be eating healthy - even whole wheat pasta instead of white. Good choice? Yes. Then I found the problem. How much? We figured out it was about 3.5 servings of pasta. That was JUST the pasta, not the sauce or the meat or fats added via cooking method. Needless to say she was shocked. She had been educating herself via articles and the Internet, but piecing it all together wasn't happening the way she had hoped.
Part of growing is learning, part of learning is being willing to accept that you don't know it all and finally asking for help. The smile of my client when that last piece on portion control clicked into place, along with tips and suggestions to help her keep it going was so fabulous. No matter what part of your journey you are currently in, always remember to ask for help, tips and suggestions.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Better Body: Don't Call it a Comeback
Better Body: Don't Call it a Comeback: I've come to realize it is slow and steady that gets it done. It has been a long couple of months of rebuilding, reorganizing, starting ove...
Don't Call it a Comeback
I've come to realize it is slow and steady that gets it done. It has been a long couple of months of rebuilding, reorganizing, starting over and trying new things. All areas of my life had to be switched around and prioritized with me first. Selfish sounding? Sure. Actually selfish? Not at all. I can't be what I want for those I love without taking care of myself first. While this can be a hard idea for those around me to understand at first, now that it has taken root it makes much more sense and I think everyone is happier.
For my running, I have a lot of races on the board coming up (with one big one in the rear view). I've been making the true effort of getting out of bed at 4- 4:30am to meet my girls and get my miles in so I don't crash and burn without overdoing it and/or getting re-injured or irritating an old injury. Good thing my ladies are punchy and chipper that early! It makes for a good time and fun conversation, even on mile 10.
Yoga is what it is - relaxing, nice "me" time, challenging, making me more flexible and more forgivable of my body's current limitations.
Lifting has been another story altogether. After being sidelined from doctor's orders for so long, I wasn't aware at what I had lost not just physically, but in terms of lifting being an everyday part of my life and the mental strength of pushing through the frustration of not being able to do what I used to do so easily. While running comes back quickly and naturally, all the muscle I had taken for granted that had been built over years and years of effort, had severely dwindled. After day one; pain and exhaustion. After day two; still tired, still in pain. During day three; almost broke down out of frustration. It has been getting better day by day.
Yes, I know better. Yes, I know it takes time, dedication, perseverance, patience. Patience is something I've never been good at practicing. This "re-do" from ground zero of my strength building is testing that like nothing else. Being older now it takes longer to see the results which used to take a week or two, my eating has to be spot on 90% of the time instead of 80%. I have also overhauled my eating plan again much to my family's chagrin.
This all takes more planning/preparing than before and takes some of my time away from my family and friends but overall I have to say I think everyone around me that depends on me is happier. Even if the weight I'm lifting isn't what I want it to be RIGHT NOW, I know it will get there and I'm stronger after every workout regardless. Because I feel stronger and healthier with every day, I'm happier. I'm more giving, more empathetic and overall a better person.
Don't call it a comeback, call it a rebirth.
For my running, I have a lot of races on the board coming up (with one big one in the rear view). I've been making the true effort of getting out of bed at 4- 4:30am to meet my girls and get my miles in so I don't crash and burn without overdoing it and/or getting re-injured or irritating an old injury. Good thing my ladies are punchy and chipper that early! It makes for a good time and fun conversation, even on mile 10.
Yoga is what it is - relaxing, nice "me" time, challenging, making me more flexible and more forgivable of my body's current limitations.
Lifting has been another story altogether. After being sidelined from doctor's orders for so long, I wasn't aware at what I had lost not just physically, but in terms of lifting being an everyday part of my life and the mental strength of pushing through the frustration of not being able to do what I used to do so easily. While running comes back quickly and naturally, all the muscle I had taken for granted that had been built over years and years of effort, had severely dwindled. After day one; pain and exhaustion. After day two; still tired, still in pain. During day three; almost broke down out of frustration. It has been getting better day by day.
Yes, I know better. Yes, I know it takes time, dedication, perseverance, patience. Patience is something I've never been good at practicing. This "re-do" from ground zero of my strength building is testing that like nothing else. Being older now it takes longer to see the results which used to take a week or two, my eating has to be spot on 90% of the time instead of 80%. I have also overhauled my eating plan again much to my family's chagrin.
This all takes more planning/preparing than before and takes some of my time away from my family and friends but overall I have to say I think everyone around me that depends on me is happier. Even if the weight I'm lifting isn't what I want it to be RIGHT NOW, I know it will get there and I'm stronger after every workout regardless. Because I feel stronger and healthier with every day, I'm happier. I'm more giving, more empathetic and overall a better person.
Don't call it a comeback, call it a rebirth.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Excuses Excuses - Enough!!
It has been forever since I have been on here. I was really hoping that after the "Injury" entry I would have some bad ass "comeback" entry. Alas, I'm still on the outskirts nursing a bad hip. Really? What am I, 90??? A bad HIP?? Good Lord.
At the same time, however, I overused my injury excuse. There was no need for me to put on those extra pounds making my jeans just a little too tight for my liking and making me not want to wear my cute tank tops and short sleeve shirts. So I couldn't run. I couldn't squat. I couldn't lunge. I couldn't have weight bearing on the joint. Does it suck? Yes. Did I have to let go? Absolutely not.
A bum hip didn't mean I needed to stop planning all my meals. It didn't mean I needed to slack on my clean eating style. It didn't mean I couldn't walk in the pool. It didn't mean comfort myself with having foods more often in which I don't normally indulge. I fell off my wagon and just rolled right down the hill into a ditch.
Today, I decided I wanted to do something, anything. So off I went to Bikram Yoga. It is something I used to find such comfort in doing when living in San Francisco. I love the heat, the stretching, the isometric muscular holds, the calmness in the room. I needed that today. Calm, stretching, solace. Even if I couldn't do all the poses, I knew I would walk away better than when I walked into the studio. And better I am.
As I was laying in Savasana and the instructor was talking, he started orating about injuries and fear and being willing to push past, little by little, the fear of re-injuring ourselves through going into poses a little deeper every time we practice. How we are not victims of our injuries. We need not be afraid. It was my "AH-HA" moment. This injury had become my EXCUSE, my crutch to slack off and just be pissy and behave like a victim instead of pulling up my proverbial bootstraps and focusing on the things I COULD do, not what I couldn't.
No more excuses - do what you can. No more victim mentality of just being sad and feeling helpless or acting like a big fat baby. Even if it is tightening up your eating because you really can't exercise at all, do it. Hand bikes if your leg is hurt, walking if your upper body is injured. Something, Anything.
I certainly could not do everything in my class today but I could do much more than I expected. It whipped me, hard. You know what? I LOVED IT. I was worked, stretched, tired, sweaty and at peace with a new state of mind. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
To my instructor who helped me today - Thank you and Namaste.
At the same time, however, I overused my injury excuse. There was no need for me to put on those extra pounds making my jeans just a little too tight for my liking and making me not want to wear my cute tank tops and short sleeve shirts. So I couldn't run. I couldn't squat. I couldn't lunge. I couldn't have weight bearing on the joint. Does it suck? Yes. Did I have to let go? Absolutely not.
A bum hip didn't mean I needed to stop planning all my meals. It didn't mean I needed to slack on my clean eating style. It didn't mean I couldn't walk in the pool. It didn't mean comfort myself with having foods more often in which I don't normally indulge. I fell off my wagon and just rolled right down the hill into a ditch.
Today, I decided I wanted to do something, anything. So off I went to Bikram Yoga. It is something I used to find such comfort in doing when living in San Francisco. I love the heat, the stretching, the isometric muscular holds, the calmness in the room. I needed that today. Calm, stretching, solace. Even if I couldn't do all the poses, I knew I would walk away better than when I walked into the studio. And better I am.
As I was laying in Savasana and the instructor was talking, he started orating about injuries and fear and being willing to push past, little by little, the fear of re-injuring ourselves through going into poses a little deeper every time we practice. How we are not victims of our injuries. We need not be afraid. It was my "AH-HA" moment. This injury had become my EXCUSE, my crutch to slack off and just be pissy and behave like a victim instead of pulling up my proverbial bootstraps and focusing on the things I COULD do, not what I couldn't.
No more excuses - do what you can. No more victim mentality of just being sad and feeling helpless or acting like a big fat baby. Even if it is tightening up your eating because you really can't exercise at all, do it. Hand bikes if your leg is hurt, walking if your upper body is injured. Something, Anything.
I certainly could not do everything in my class today but I could do much more than I expected. It whipped me, hard. You know what? I LOVED IT. I was worked, stretched, tired, sweaty and at peace with a new state of mind. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
To my instructor who helped me today - Thank you and Namaste.
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