It has been forever since I have been on here. I was really hoping that after the "Injury" entry I would have some bad ass "comeback" entry. Alas, I'm still on the outskirts nursing a bad hip. Really? What am I, 90??? A bad HIP?? Good Lord.
At the same time, however, I overused my injury excuse. There was no need for me to put on those extra pounds making my jeans just a little too tight for my liking and making me not want to wear my cute tank tops and short sleeve shirts. So I couldn't run. I couldn't squat. I couldn't lunge. I couldn't have weight bearing on the joint. Does it suck? Yes. Did I have to let go? Absolutely not.
A bum hip didn't mean I needed to stop planning all my meals. It didn't mean I needed to slack on my clean eating style. It didn't mean I couldn't walk in the pool. It didn't mean comfort myself with having foods more often in which I don't normally indulge. I fell off my wagon and just rolled right down the hill into a ditch.
Today, I decided I wanted to do something, anything. So off I went to Bikram Yoga. It is something I used to find such comfort in doing when living in San Francisco. I love the heat, the stretching, the isometric muscular holds, the calmness in the room. I needed that today. Calm, stretching, solace. Even if I couldn't do all the poses, I knew I would walk away better than when I walked into the studio. And better I am.
As I was laying in Savasana and the instructor was talking, he started orating about injuries and fear and being willing to push past, little by little, the fear of re-injuring ourselves through going into poses a little deeper every time we practice. How we are not victims of our injuries. We need not be afraid. It was my "AH-HA" moment. This injury had become my EXCUSE, my crutch to slack off and just be pissy and behave like a victim instead of pulling up my proverbial bootstraps and focusing on the things I COULD do, not what I couldn't.
No more excuses - do what you can. No more victim mentality of just being sad and feeling helpless or acting like a big fat baby. Even if it is tightening up your eating because you really can't exercise at all, do it. Hand bikes if your leg is hurt, walking if your upper body is injured. Something, Anything.
I certainly could not do everything in my class today but I could do much more than I expected. It whipped me, hard. You know what? I LOVED IT. I was worked, stretched, tired, sweaty and at peace with a new state of mind. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
To my instructor who helped me today - Thank you and Namaste.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Surviving the Injuries
Everyone has had an injury of some sort. Right now I'm struggling with a brutal one that is limiting me like no other injury has. No running, no lifting legs, no lunges, no real squats. I can safely say this completely sucks. My kneecap is off track and out of place and every "lateral" muscle I have in my right thigh is so tight it keeps pulling my kneecap even further out of place if that is possible. On top of all that, the compensation that has been going on in my hips to save my knee is now so wound up and tight it is now pulling my lower back out of alignment. Really?
Unfortunately yes. While going to physical therapy twice a week is helping, it is not curing the issues and it is not working quickly. What I am not, is patient. Especially when it comes to my injuries and recovery. What I am now learning is I do have to be patient. With an MRI and X-rays for my right hip on the books for tomorrow I am stressed and sad. This is the time I need my exercise the most. I am so grateful for the strong support system I have around me from family and friends to coaches (especially Coach Lauren from CSF). With this bout of injuries they have had to proverbially slap me around to make me snap out of my own head and take my injuries seriously.
What this HAS done for me is made me refocus on my nutrition (yes, I slip every so often too) and the things I CAN do. I can still walk, I can still do some core and some upper body. This has also made me realize how much I take for granted when my body is healthy. The hips and lower back are so important in all motions and movements and I neglected to make sure I was properly taking care of them. I must stretch, I must make sure my fascia is not wrapped in knots around my muscles pulling my body out of alignment, and I must feed my body properly so my muscles can properly protect my joints.
There are a few ways to do this but I believe if I diversified my training better after my ankle surgery last year, I would not be in this predicament now. All I worried about was getting to the gym, getting my cardio done and lifting my weights as I always had. What I wasn't doing, and needed to do, was incorporate alternate forms of exercises like yoga, stretching or pilates. Even doing a Spin class over a long run every so often would have saved wear and tear on both my hips and knees possibly alleviating some of the issues I now have.
My point today is even if you feel strong right now, it doesn't mean you are as strong as you feel or that everything is working how it should. Our bodies can hold out for quite some time even when it t is not in proper alignment before something gives. So take care of your body in all aspects, just getting to the gym isn't enough, what you do there is so important. Stretch, roll out your body and change up your exercises and forms of exercise every so often to continue to strengthen and challenge your muscles. Keep ALL parts of your body strong and healthy.
Unfortunately yes. While going to physical therapy twice a week is helping, it is not curing the issues and it is not working quickly. What I am not, is patient. Especially when it comes to my injuries and recovery. What I am now learning is I do have to be patient. With an MRI and X-rays for my right hip on the books for tomorrow I am stressed and sad. This is the time I need my exercise the most. I am so grateful for the strong support system I have around me from family and friends to coaches (especially Coach Lauren from CSF). With this bout of injuries they have had to proverbially slap me around to make me snap out of my own head and take my injuries seriously.
What this HAS done for me is made me refocus on my nutrition (yes, I slip every so often too) and the things I CAN do. I can still walk, I can still do some core and some upper body. This has also made me realize how much I take for granted when my body is healthy. The hips and lower back are so important in all motions and movements and I neglected to make sure I was properly taking care of them. I must stretch, I must make sure my fascia is not wrapped in knots around my muscles pulling my body out of alignment, and I must feed my body properly so my muscles can properly protect my joints.
There are a few ways to do this but I believe if I diversified my training better after my ankle surgery last year, I would not be in this predicament now. All I worried about was getting to the gym, getting my cardio done and lifting my weights as I always had. What I wasn't doing, and needed to do, was incorporate alternate forms of exercises like yoga, stretching or pilates. Even doing a Spin class over a long run every so often would have saved wear and tear on both my hips and knees possibly alleviating some of the issues I now have.
My point today is even if you feel strong right now, it doesn't mean you are as strong as you feel or that everything is working how it should. Our bodies can hold out for quite some time even when it t is not in proper alignment before something gives. So take care of your body in all aspects, just getting to the gym isn't enough, what you do there is so important. Stretch, roll out your body and change up your exercises and forms of exercise every so often to continue to strengthen and challenge your muscles. Keep ALL parts of your body strong and healthy.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Las Vegas Rock 'n Roll 1/2 Marathon
So this is a little late coming, but better late than never. I too get caught up in the Holiday Season.
Yes, two 1/2 Marathons in SIX weeks. This one was different, it wasn't for me or about me. This one was for my husband who has supported all of my fitness endeavors without question. He loves that I love to be healthy and strong and loves to participate when he can. He-Rocked-It.
We ran a 1/2 Marathon once before when we were dating a bit over four years ago in San Francisco - aptly named the San Francisco 1/2 Marathon. That was all fun and games, just get it done to say he did it. There was minimal training with a long run of only 10 miles one time before race day. Post race was not his favorite to say the least. Exhausted for a day or two, sore for at least two, but he did it and did it well with his kids and Mom at the finish cheering us on with signs.
I wanted to do it again, with him, and I have been hearing how fun the Rock 'n Roll series is for years. Then I saw it - Rock 'n Roll VEGAS. I had him, no doubt, slam dunk. It couldn't have been more perfect since he LOVES Las Vegas. The last time we traveled there was great and this was the perfect way to go have fun again and run together.
The biggest obstacle we had was training together. I wrote him a progressive program to get him prepared but what I didn't realize is that we really only had six weeks to train together and motivating someone from afar is tougher than when they are in the room training beside you. By the time he needed to start his training, I was already in my long long runs with my girls training for the Nike 1/2 in San Francisco. He needed shorter runs than I was doing but I had to put the miles in for my October race. Thankfully, the commitment was fully made by him and he began running on his own on his lunch hour at work. I didn't doubt it, I knew once he said he was in he would train properly. Running by yourself when it isn't really your "thing" takes big commitment.
If we were going to do training runs together, it would have to be at 5:30 am or 7:30 pm, both in the dark. I cannot run at night or super early morning before the sun, I trip on things and fall down. This has happened on several occasions and in several cities and I cannot explain it. During the week, this meant he had to run without me. Not ideal, but doable. Enter work friend/runner/savior. Maybe still not ideal but far more attractive than running solo three times a week.
And so our dual journey began. Weekends we would do long runs when we could manage around soccer and kids and every run he did better and became a stronger runner. So much so that on our 11 mile run, he was pulling me at more than one point. This was a GREAT sign of what this race would become and I was excited.
Jump forward a few weeks. The day before the race at the Expo, and a KILLER Expo it was. Great fitness tools everywhere, Josh Cox signing autographs, all sorts of runners wandering through it all. There was a HUGE line for the free Kinetic Taping and of course for all the free samples of food. We bought some running glasses and for me a beanie since we realized how cold it was really going to be in the morning.
Then it was 5:00AM in Las Vegas - RACE DAY. Winter running pants - check. Under Armour Cold Gear long sleeve - check. Shoes, beanie, race bib, running belt and bag check clothes - check. All ready. As we made our way through the drunken smoking gamblers who looked at US like WE were nuts, we giggled and thought about how great it was to NOT be them. I loved it. We walked outside to be slapped in the face with some ridiculously cold temperature I certainly wasn't expecting. Thank goodness for hot coffee :)
There were all sorts at the start - aliens, angels, hippies, sponge bob (yes, in a full cardboard costume) and of course a thousand Elvis' of both genders. There were also the serious runners doing their warm up runs in their compression socks, novice runners sort of trying to watch and do what others were doing and people who looked totally lost. I checked my bag and we headed to our corral. As we lined up and toed the line for our start Sean looks at me and says, my biggest stretch goal is 2:11. My answer - how bad do you want to make that?
He doesn't want to know the time so much just the time of each mile after a certain point, around mile 6. I'm still pacing him and we are headed at a good clip enjoying the scenery as you run straight down the strip. Through NY, Paris, you know the drill. All the lights are on, the billboards are wishing us luck. The corrals were run perfectly so that we didn't have to worry about weaving in and out of runners and could really look around and enjoy our environment. Even the water stations were run well without runners climbing all over each other to get to the tables. The bands made it even better. We heard a lot of Jimi Hendrix on that run but it was fabulous.
Around mile 11, Sean started to slow so I started to pull away to push him to maintain his pace. I knew he could but also knew he needed to just follow on auto pilot. Mile 12 he started to show a little glint of "thank God I'm almost there". For the last 1/2 mile of the race, I would hold up fingers for the remaining .5, .4, .3, etc. miles left. As soon as I held up 2 fingers - off he went like a shot. All I could think was "Are you nuts??? Do you know that is almost a quarter mile? Sprinting, really??" But instead I took off after him yelling as much encouragement on the way. I'm not entirely sure he knew it was encouragement as it could have been irritating him to no end but I wanted him to reach his best goal.
On immediate crossing of the finish line, he came to a complete halt and looked like he wanted to die. He did just full sprint .2 miles after all. And of course I forgot to stop my watch. I told him he did it, beat his best goal and he just looked at me. Official time? 2:09!!!!
With commitment, time and some nagging, he surpassed even his stretch goal. I was so proud of him and still am. He was even in good enough shape to rock out to Bret Michaels for over an hour at the post race concert and even make it to XS for the runner party held by the race later in the evening. He was proud of him too which he should be.
It was an amazing race and so fun to do it selflessly and watch him succeed past all his goals. I loved seeing him so happy and healthy and I can't wait to do it all over again.
Yes, two 1/2 Marathons in SIX weeks. This one was different, it wasn't for me or about me. This one was for my husband who has supported all of my fitness endeavors without question. He loves that I love to be healthy and strong and loves to participate when he can. He-Rocked-It.
We ran a 1/2 Marathon once before when we were dating a bit over four years ago in San Francisco - aptly named the San Francisco 1/2 Marathon. That was all fun and games, just get it done to say he did it. There was minimal training with a long run of only 10 miles one time before race day. Post race was not his favorite to say the least. Exhausted for a day or two, sore for at least two, but he did it and did it well with his kids and Mom at the finish cheering us on with signs.
I wanted to do it again, with him, and I have been hearing how fun the Rock 'n Roll series is for years. Then I saw it - Rock 'n Roll VEGAS. I had him, no doubt, slam dunk. It couldn't have been more perfect since he LOVES Las Vegas. The last time we traveled there was great and this was the perfect way to go have fun again and run together.
The biggest obstacle we had was training together. I wrote him a progressive program to get him prepared but what I didn't realize is that we really only had six weeks to train together and motivating someone from afar is tougher than when they are in the room training beside you. By the time he needed to start his training, I was already in my long long runs with my girls training for the Nike 1/2 in San Francisco. He needed shorter runs than I was doing but I had to put the miles in for my October race. Thankfully, the commitment was fully made by him and he began running on his own on his lunch hour at work. I didn't doubt it, I knew once he said he was in he would train properly. Running by yourself when it isn't really your "thing" takes big commitment.
If we were going to do training runs together, it would have to be at 5:30 am or 7:30 pm, both in the dark. I cannot run at night or super early morning before the sun, I trip on things and fall down. This has happened on several occasions and in several cities and I cannot explain it. During the week, this meant he had to run without me. Not ideal, but doable. Enter work friend/runner/savior. Maybe still not ideal but far more attractive than running solo three times a week.
And so our dual journey began. Weekends we would do long runs when we could manage around soccer and kids and every run he did better and became a stronger runner. So much so that on our 11 mile run, he was pulling me at more than one point. This was a GREAT sign of what this race would become and I was excited.
Jump forward a few weeks. The day before the race at the Expo, and a KILLER Expo it was. Great fitness tools everywhere, Josh Cox signing autographs, all sorts of runners wandering through it all. There was a HUGE line for the free Kinetic Taping and of course for all the free samples of food. We bought some running glasses and for me a beanie since we realized how cold it was really going to be in the morning.
Then it was 5:00AM in Las Vegas - RACE DAY. Winter running pants - check. Under Armour Cold Gear long sleeve - check. Shoes, beanie, race bib, running belt and bag check clothes - check. All ready. As we made our way through the drunken smoking gamblers who looked at US like WE were nuts, we giggled and thought about how great it was to NOT be them. I loved it. We walked outside to be slapped in the face with some ridiculously cold temperature I certainly wasn't expecting. Thank goodness for hot coffee :)
There were all sorts at the start - aliens, angels, hippies, sponge bob (yes, in a full cardboard costume) and of course a thousand Elvis' of both genders. There were also the serious runners doing their warm up runs in their compression socks, novice runners sort of trying to watch and do what others were doing and people who looked totally lost. I checked my bag and we headed to our corral. As we lined up and toed the line for our start Sean looks at me and says, my biggest stretch goal is 2:11. My answer - how bad do you want to make that?
He doesn't want to know the time so much just the time of each mile after a certain point, around mile 6. I'm still pacing him and we are headed at a good clip enjoying the scenery as you run straight down the strip. Through NY, Paris, you know the drill. All the lights are on, the billboards are wishing us luck. The corrals were run perfectly so that we didn't have to worry about weaving in and out of runners and could really look around and enjoy our environment. Even the water stations were run well without runners climbing all over each other to get to the tables. The bands made it even better. We heard a lot of Jimi Hendrix on that run but it was fabulous.
Around mile 11, Sean started to slow so I started to pull away to push him to maintain his pace. I knew he could but also knew he needed to just follow on auto pilot. Mile 12 he started to show a little glint of "thank God I'm almost there". For the last 1/2 mile of the race, I would hold up fingers for the remaining .5, .4, .3, etc. miles left. As soon as I held up 2 fingers - off he went like a shot. All I could think was "Are you nuts??? Do you know that is almost a quarter mile? Sprinting, really??" But instead I took off after him yelling as much encouragement on the way. I'm not entirely sure he knew it was encouragement as it could have been irritating him to no end but I wanted him to reach his best goal.
On immediate crossing of the finish line, he came to a complete halt and looked like he wanted to die. He did just full sprint .2 miles after all. And of course I forgot to stop my watch. I told him he did it, beat his best goal and he just looked at me. Official time? 2:09!!!!
With commitment, time and some nagging, he surpassed even his stretch goal. I was so proud of him and still am. He was even in good enough shape to rock out to Bret Michaels for over an hour at the post race concert and even make it to XS for the runner party held by the race later in the evening. He was proud of him too which he should be.
It was an amazing race and so fun to do it selflessly and watch him succeed past all his goals. I loved seeing him so happy and healthy and I can't wait to do it all over again.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The Journey
I've been seeing a lot of encouragement lately for people to keep public weight loss blogs/journals and I'm all for it. But only to a certain extent. The people who have the most to "lose" are not often the most open about it. They have been ridiculed enough and had enough times when they have tried, and failed per them, at their goal.
So I see certain people I follow on twitter that I also respect are telling everyone - have a weight loss journey blog. Write it all down. Get it out there. Tell everyone. I'm in the business and I know I don't want to tell everyone my goal, my recent decision,what I want most in this world. I know, that last one sounds extreme but what do YOU really want? Do you want to tell me? If not, why not? Fear of failure or just that you don't know me and you're uncomfortable? Think about it for a few seconds......
Easy for me to say - but how do you FEEL about it all? Are you confident in letting people in? I've been overweight and I wasn't confident in letting people in on the fact that 1. I knew I was overweight and 2. I really, really wanted it to change. Weird thing for me? I had been a collegiate athlete. I have been an athlete my entire life. At one point I'm pretty sure my Mom was confused as to what the hell was happening. I remember asking her once if something made me look fat (knowing I was heavy but what can you do at that moment?) and she said "it doesn't make you look fat". Good Mom. She didn't lie but it wasn't what I was asking.
Years later, I would say about two, when I was more fit I was laughing about how worried I was about that night and it all came out during that mom/daughter conversation. I was basically told it wasn't the outfit that made me look fat, it was me. I was fat. I was upset but I knew she was right. I'd been an athlete - collegiate athlete even - my entire life. This carrying weight was new and I didn't know what to do. What did i know? Work out.
Eventually, to make a long story short, working out did a lot, but not everything. Lifting and cardio was enough during my 20's and I loved it. As I hit 30/32 I actually hit "the wall". Yes, the metabolism thing everyone talks about is true. It might hit you at 28, 30, 33 - but it WILL hit and does. If you haven't found out by the time it hits you (which obviously I hadn't) FOOD is IT.
Food is such a major component of how we look. Some professionals believe it is 80% of how we look, others believe it to be 90%. Either way the industry realizes, as do food marketers, that we really are what we eat and the majority of people have no idea how to really eat for what they want. Food companies woo us with health foods that contain more chemicals than we knew existed, how can that possibly be healthy? I know, with all the contradicting studies out there how can you know. Find someone to help you. Research it on your own, ask questions of professionals in the fitness and health/nutrition industry. They are happy to help dispel myths and guide you. I am constantly still asking questions and researching what foods and substitutes are best for me and what I want from my body. You just have to want to know, then go find the answer.
So I see certain people I follow on twitter that I also respect are telling everyone - have a weight loss journey blog. Write it all down. Get it out there. Tell everyone. I'm in the business and I know I don't want to tell everyone my goal, my recent decision,what I want most in this world. I know, that last one sounds extreme but what do YOU really want? Do you want to tell me? If not, why not? Fear of failure or just that you don't know me and you're uncomfortable? Think about it for a few seconds......
Easy for me to say - but how do you FEEL about it all? Are you confident in letting people in? I've been overweight and I wasn't confident in letting people in on the fact that 1. I knew I was overweight and 2. I really, really wanted it to change. Weird thing for me? I had been a collegiate athlete. I have been an athlete my entire life. At one point I'm pretty sure my Mom was confused as to what the hell was happening. I remember asking her once if something made me look fat (knowing I was heavy but what can you do at that moment?) and she said "it doesn't make you look fat". Good Mom. She didn't lie but it wasn't what I was asking.
Years later, I would say about two, when I was more fit I was laughing about how worried I was about that night and it all came out during that mom/daughter conversation. I was basically told it wasn't the outfit that made me look fat, it was me. I was fat. I was upset but I knew she was right. I'd been an athlete - collegiate athlete even - my entire life. This carrying weight was new and I didn't know what to do. What did i know? Work out.
Eventually, to make a long story short, working out did a lot, but not everything. Lifting and cardio was enough during my 20's and I loved it. As I hit 30/32 I actually hit "the wall". Yes, the metabolism thing everyone talks about is true. It might hit you at 28, 30, 33 - but it WILL hit and does. If you haven't found out by the time it hits you (which obviously I hadn't) FOOD is IT.
Food is such a major component of how we look. Some professionals believe it is 80% of how we look, others believe it to be 90%. Either way the industry realizes, as do food marketers, that we really are what we eat and the majority of people have no idea how to really eat for what they want. Food companies woo us with health foods that contain more chemicals than we knew existed, how can that possibly be healthy? I know, with all the contradicting studies out there how can you know. Find someone to help you. Research it on your own, ask questions of professionals in the fitness and health/nutrition industry. They are happy to help dispel myths and guide you. I am constantly still asking questions and researching what foods and substitutes are best for me and what I want from my body. You just have to want to know, then go find the answer.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
My NIKE Women's Experience
We signed up as a group months ago with high hopes and lots of anticipation. All of us run at different speeds and for different reasons. Some run for weight loss, some for fun and some for general health. I run for health but also for the companionship of these fantastic women.
I met all these women through my younger step-daughter's school. We drop off the kids and meet up to go on a daily run. Ok, not DAILY but 3+ times a week are scheduled and you make what you can. How perfect is it to sign up for THIS women's race and train together? If you have ever toed the start at the Nike Women's Marathon you know what I mean. The energy, the vibe, the love, the strength is all indescribable. I have run it solo for years, almost all of the 7 it has been around. However, this year was so different and a much more memorable experience.
The Friday before the race six of us trekked into San Francisco from the East Bay to peruse the Expo and pick up our bibs. The best part? The car ride, hands down. I have not laughed so hard in ages - until Saturday when four of us drove in again to stay the night for the race. Then again at dinner with all 11 women. And yet again the four of us trying to get to the hotel room and into bed. Grown women acting silly as children is the BEST EVER!!
5:00am came quickly and that is when the last anxiety really hits - why are we doing this again? It's 5:00 am on a Sunday!! 13.1 really? Whose bright idea was this? After getting dressed and putting on our custom made running tanks to honor a young man currently in remission from Leukemia (proceeds from the race benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society) we became a little more settled. I went across the street to grab Starbucks and bananas for everyone - as soon as the air hit me, you could feel the energy in the streets. It seemed like electricity just surging through the air in waves as people were already lining up, finding friends and making new ones. Yes, people make friends quickly at the start of this event, there is just something about this race that does it.
The four of us walked down to the start to meet up with the rest of our group and check our bags so we didn't freeze at the Finish. Despite the cold, all the people huddled together created not just an audible buzz but a warmth from the body heat. Flashes were going off all around, people making and preserving their memories. We have ours too - of course trying to make a path in thousands of people to get our perfect photo. The beauty? People did get out of the way because they wanted to do the same. The courtesy before this race is fabulous.
Now, we trained with hopes of certain times and performance expectations. We also trained in hot weather and it was cold and overcast that Sunday in San Francisco. I thought we were golden. Cooler temperature, we were ready for "the hill" and we were pumped. Off we went.
About 10 minutes after the start of the race, we officially crossed the starting line. Watches were started so we could check our pace and see our approximate mileage (we now know that Garmins are not as accurate in a city as in suburbia - dang buildings). It was extremely crowded in the first few miles and we tried to wait it out and find where the race was "thinning". This year the race did not thin, not one bit. I was elbow to elbow with someone the entire way. Then I realized, I don't feel as good as I think I should. By mile 5 I had to make a pit stop (Thanks Jenn for staying with me!) which I have NEVER done in a race. Could it be helped? No, but I was irritated, and so the race went.
I have not ever struggled with a race the way I did with this one in the last three miles. My left medius was giving out, my knees were aching (I have no idea why), I incurred a blister on the arch of my right foot despite having well broken in shoes and had just fought my way up another hill when all I wanted to do was quit. But as I rounded the corner to head back down the hill and the ocean came in view, a nice, calming song came on my iPod. The Grateful Dead, San Francisco, the ocean, everything came together right then. They sang me down the hill and kept me going until I caught up with another group of ladies I knew. After chatting a bit, I was on my way again, only one more mile.
At this point, as many of you know, the finish is all in your head. A total mind game. In pain and tired, periods of struggle where you want to throw down your water bottle and go home are only overcome with pure focus and determination. It may start with a distraction technique but it is ALL in your head. You can either talk yourself into a strong finish or talk yourself out of one. I would venture to say that mile 7 forward is mind games for a 1/2 marathon. Full marathons are an entirely different beast I do not care to tackle again, ever. I had forged ahead out of frustration at this point and was flying solo. Just me and my will.
Still weaving in and out of other runners, yes still at mile 12.5, I started pushing harder. The faster I run, the faster I will be done. As I pushed, my stomach of all things pushed back. I started getting nauseous. No way was I stopping now. I slowed just a tad until I had the last .1 mile then took off the best my body could handle. Not only did it not feel graceful, photographic evidence shows it did not remotely look graceful either. But I made it, I hit that last timing strip and immediately turned to look for my girls. Nausea gone, pains and aches gone, I was just excited to see them hit the finish. So much so I forgot to stop my watch. If you know me that is SO NOT ME to forget that. That is what bonding with these ladies had done. The time, the aches, the pains, blisters and everything else that course threw at me didn't matter. Where were my girls? Watch? Crap. I forgot. Then came Carrie - hauling over the finish and we just grabbed each other in a huge hug. We were done. Phew! Next in Gini (all smiles) and Jen (less than happy but done all the same) and all of us with good times. A TV crew lined a bunch of us up with our special Leukemia shirts, asked us questions and we realized it isn't about the "race" or the time. It was about standing there with our arms over each others shoulders having accomplished something many people never do.
Post race started the giggles ALL OVER. Even in the cold, standing in line for the shuttle back to the hotel, bodies beaten, rain coming down, the laughter commenced. I'm sure we irritated all the exhausted people on our bus as we laughed the whole way back to the hotel. Even during four showers and packing up to leave, the jokes and laughter just kept coming. Lunch, same deal - how can you laugh so much and be so tired? Perhaps they go together. Even the car ride home was a blast.
The further away the race gets, the less I remember the rough parts and the more permanent the killer memories of being with strong women who are also great friends, great motivators and great people. I wouldn't have traded it for a faster time or "better" race or for anything other than what it was. And I can't wait to do another one with them soon.
Thanks Ladies!
I met all these women through my younger step-daughter's school. We drop off the kids and meet up to go on a daily run. Ok, not DAILY but 3+ times a week are scheduled and you make what you can. How perfect is it to sign up for THIS women's race and train together? If you have ever toed the start at the Nike Women's Marathon you know what I mean. The energy, the vibe, the love, the strength is all indescribable. I have run it solo for years, almost all of the 7 it has been around. However, this year was so different and a much more memorable experience.
The Friday before the race six of us trekked into San Francisco from the East Bay to peruse the Expo and pick up our bibs. The best part? The car ride, hands down. I have not laughed so hard in ages - until Saturday when four of us drove in again to stay the night for the race. Then again at dinner with all 11 women. And yet again the four of us trying to get to the hotel room and into bed. Grown women acting silly as children is the BEST EVER!!
5:00am came quickly and that is when the last anxiety really hits - why are we doing this again? It's 5:00 am on a Sunday!! 13.1 really? Whose bright idea was this? After getting dressed and putting on our custom made running tanks to honor a young man currently in remission from Leukemia (proceeds from the race benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society) we became a little more settled. I went across the street to grab Starbucks and bananas for everyone - as soon as the air hit me, you could feel the energy in the streets. It seemed like electricity just surging through the air in waves as people were already lining up, finding friends and making new ones. Yes, people make friends quickly at the start of this event, there is just something about this race that does it.
The four of us walked down to the start to meet up with the rest of our group and check our bags so we didn't freeze at the Finish. Despite the cold, all the people huddled together created not just an audible buzz but a warmth from the body heat. Flashes were going off all around, people making and preserving their memories. We have ours too - of course trying to make a path in thousands of people to get our perfect photo. The beauty? People did get out of the way because they wanted to do the same. The courtesy before this race is fabulous.
Now, we trained with hopes of certain times and performance expectations. We also trained in hot weather and it was cold and overcast that Sunday in San Francisco. I thought we were golden. Cooler temperature, we were ready for "the hill" and we were pumped. Off we went.
About 10 minutes after the start of the race, we officially crossed the starting line. Watches were started so we could check our pace and see our approximate mileage (we now know that Garmins are not as accurate in a city as in suburbia - dang buildings). It was extremely crowded in the first few miles and we tried to wait it out and find where the race was "thinning". This year the race did not thin, not one bit. I was elbow to elbow with someone the entire way. Then I realized, I don't feel as good as I think I should. By mile 5 I had to make a pit stop (Thanks Jenn for staying with me!) which I have NEVER done in a race. Could it be helped? No, but I was irritated, and so the race went.
I have not ever struggled with a race the way I did with this one in the last three miles. My left medius was giving out, my knees were aching (I have no idea why), I incurred a blister on the arch of my right foot despite having well broken in shoes and had just fought my way up another hill when all I wanted to do was quit. But as I rounded the corner to head back down the hill and the ocean came in view, a nice, calming song came on my iPod. The Grateful Dead, San Francisco, the ocean, everything came together right then. They sang me down the hill and kept me going until I caught up with another group of ladies I knew. After chatting a bit, I was on my way again, only one more mile.
At this point, as many of you know, the finish is all in your head. A total mind game. In pain and tired, periods of struggle where you want to throw down your water bottle and go home are only overcome with pure focus and determination. It may start with a distraction technique but it is ALL in your head. You can either talk yourself into a strong finish or talk yourself out of one. I would venture to say that mile 7 forward is mind games for a 1/2 marathon. Full marathons are an entirely different beast I do not care to tackle again, ever. I had forged ahead out of frustration at this point and was flying solo. Just me and my will.
Still weaving in and out of other runners, yes still at mile 12.5, I started pushing harder. The faster I run, the faster I will be done. As I pushed, my stomach of all things pushed back. I started getting nauseous. No way was I stopping now. I slowed just a tad until I had the last .1 mile then took off the best my body could handle. Not only did it not feel graceful, photographic evidence shows it did not remotely look graceful either. But I made it, I hit that last timing strip and immediately turned to look for my girls. Nausea gone, pains and aches gone, I was just excited to see them hit the finish. So much so I forgot to stop my watch. If you know me that is SO NOT ME to forget that. That is what bonding with these ladies had done. The time, the aches, the pains, blisters and everything else that course threw at me didn't matter. Where were my girls? Watch? Crap. I forgot. Then came Carrie - hauling over the finish and we just grabbed each other in a huge hug. We were done. Phew! Next in Gini (all smiles) and Jen (less than happy but done all the same) and all of us with good times. A TV crew lined a bunch of us up with our special Leukemia shirts, asked us questions and we realized it isn't about the "race" or the time. It was about standing there with our arms over each others shoulders having accomplished something many people never do.
Post race started the giggles ALL OVER. Even in the cold, standing in line for the shuttle back to the hotel, bodies beaten, rain coming down, the laughter commenced. I'm sure we irritated all the exhausted people on our bus as we laughed the whole way back to the hotel. Even during four showers and packing up to leave, the jokes and laughter just kept coming. Lunch, same deal - how can you laugh so much and be so tired? Perhaps they go together. Even the car ride home was a blast.
The further away the race gets, the less I remember the rough parts and the more permanent the killer memories of being with strong women who are also great friends, great motivators and great people. I wouldn't have traded it for a faster time or "better" race or for anything other than what it was. And I can't wait to do another one with them soon.
Thanks Ladies!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Positivity in the face of Adversity
As I was cruising happily through my chill day today despite the normal bumps that go with day to day dealings, I was rudely slapped in the face by none other than brutal reality.
One of my very best friends has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Needless to say - I was shocked, upset, sad, scared, angry and ready to fight. But fight what? Fight who? Then I realize, this is a fight that simply is not mine. This is his fight. This is his struggle. This is his survival. I want to fight for him because I love him. What I suddenly realize is MY fight is to be positive for him and around him. Remind him of the good things no matter how bad the situation may seem. I will be there for him and his wife when they need anything. I will BELIEVE that he will get through this with that huge goofy smile plastered on his face. I need to make HIM believe the same thing. If I believe it, he will believe it, his wife will believe it and so on. All together, we can't be beat.
I read a book once, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I enjoyed most of it. Very God based but so many good messages. I had to laugh at myself when this is the book I thought of as I realized being positive is going to be the best thing for my dear friend. He may not be the biggest fan of God, but one of God's biggest fans is pointing me in the right direction.
This also makes me think, what am I complaining about in my daily life? Is it worth being negative about or can I turn it around? Can I make it something positive that will lift my mood versus bring me down? This applies everywhere and is yet ANOTHER cold slap in the face by brutal reality. We, as people in general, don't need to bitch and moan about the small things. Get out, get it done and love what you've done. Didn't get it all done? Really, is that a reason to give up and say "I can't"? There are too many out there who literally can't do what you did regardless of what you attempted.
Syrupy sweet sentiment? Yes. Typical of ME? Not even close. True all the same. Think about one of the people you truly love, care about and have been through so much with - now think about the possibility of losing them to death. Not having a fight, but death. No second chance. Then tell me you wouldn't do everything in your power to give them every last ounce of positive energy you could if it would make things better for that person. You would do it, and it would help you too. And so will I.
One of my very best friends has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Needless to say - I was shocked, upset, sad, scared, angry and ready to fight. But fight what? Fight who? Then I realize, this is a fight that simply is not mine. This is his fight. This is his struggle. This is his survival. I want to fight for him because I love him. What I suddenly realize is MY fight is to be positive for him and around him. Remind him of the good things no matter how bad the situation may seem. I will be there for him and his wife when they need anything. I will BELIEVE that he will get through this with that huge goofy smile plastered on his face. I need to make HIM believe the same thing. If I believe it, he will believe it, his wife will believe it and so on. All together, we can't be beat.
I read a book once, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I enjoyed most of it. Very God based but so many good messages. I had to laugh at myself when this is the book I thought of as I realized being positive is going to be the best thing for my dear friend. He may not be the biggest fan of God, but one of God's biggest fans is pointing me in the right direction.
This also makes me think, what am I complaining about in my daily life? Is it worth being negative about or can I turn it around? Can I make it something positive that will lift my mood versus bring me down? This applies everywhere and is yet ANOTHER cold slap in the face by brutal reality. We, as people in general, don't need to bitch and moan about the small things. Get out, get it done and love what you've done. Didn't get it all done? Really, is that a reason to give up and say "I can't"? There are too many out there who literally can't do what you did regardless of what you attempted.
Syrupy sweet sentiment? Yes. Typical of ME? Not even close. True all the same. Think about one of the people you truly love, care about and have been through so much with - now think about the possibility of losing them to death. Not having a fight, but death. No second chance. Then tell me you wouldn't do everything in your power to give them every last ounce of positive energy you could if it would make things better for that person. You would do it, and it would help you too. And so will I.
Motivation
Motivation is the activation of goal-oriented behavior.
ACTIVATION
What activates YOUR motivation? It is much easier to set a goal than to REACH a goal. If you don't know why you REALLY want to reach that target weight, dress size, certain time in your next half marathon, it is going to be ten times harder to get there.Most women will tell you they want to lose that last 10 pounds because if they are thin they will be happy. If that is all it took in this life to be happy, those skinny little starlets wouldn't be out getting arrested for drugs and drunk driving. Skinny/thin/fit does not equal happy.Once you are off the "skinny is happy" train, look at WHY you are either over/under eating or not exercising. Know that treating your body the best you can will make you feel better in general. Healthier foods in your diet will give you more energy than fat laden foods or sugared up candies. I know, you've heard it all before but that is because it is TRUE. The more you do it, the better you will feel. Whether you are binging or starving, STOP HIDING BEHIND FOOD! Something has to give and if you are unhappy with your body, your health is what's giving. Take it back - then own it.
ACTIVATE
Don't get discouraged, take baby steps. You MUST take steps. YOU MUST ACTIVATE THE MOTIVATION! You really may just NEED to rest one day, your body will let you know. What that DOESN'T mean, is that you aren't motivated. Find your favorite picture of yourself - when you were captured at one of your happiest moments. You may not be able to re-create the moment, but you can replicate the happiness. Treating your body well and feeding it right will get you there. If you get skinny on the way to happy, it's a bonus!
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